the rest, in short

i was eager to move to Carolina with him... he swore things would be different, things would be better.

i remember visiting a few weeks before the big move. he was still living in an apartment with a friend of his and they had people over drinking & carrying on. we began to argue about something stupid im sure, so we went into his bedroom so we didnt yell or embarass ourselves in front of our friends... one thing lead to another and im sure i was trying to leave, thats always how it happened.. we truely beat the hell out of each other.

he was so good with words and so manipulative. despite the wrestling match, i still moved. i remember the day before i left, i had already gone down the weekend before with my parents to move all of my things, i just had to come back home to cheer at a game and then i would drive myself and the little things i had left by myself. i knew it wasn't going to work, i knew something bad was going to happen. everyone warned me, told me not to feel like failure if i ever wanted or needed to come back home.

so i moved, and i got a job working from home. thats mistake 1. we would argue and he would take my car, his car keys and i would be stuck in the apartment all day. sometimes without food.. at one point he took my cell phone, took the internet chord, took my work phone.. he took everything from me, literally. i felt like a child on restriction. he would come home from work and i would be anxious for any excuse to get out but he would be tired, or not want to go out. we were young and i felt we needed to be social and get out and party. his excuse was we had real obligations and were mature, we didnt have mommy and daddy to help us so we couldnt go out and do the things everyone else was doing.

i found a dance class i wanted to go to... i only made it to 2 classes, he would take my car to work and then coincidently run late and make me late for the class. or he would lie and say to not go cause he wanted to take me to dinner, that never happened. we ended up hanging out with his POS father, ridiculous.

in most cases we would argue, i would go to walk out, walk away, walk anywhere. he would grab my arm or push me.. and i would freak! we'd swing, slap, pull, throw..i slept on the couch, i slept in my car, he took the door knobs off so i couldnt lock my self in the bathroom. he was always there, i could never walk away to think or to clear my mind, he knew if i came back to sanity i would realize what was going on.

i begged and screamed and begged... why are we like this? why are you doing this to me? why are we beating the f**k out of each other? this isnt right..

he had me pinned down, laying in between my legs, covering my mouth, telling me how worthless i was...