you really never know

i'm getting better at this. i can talk about it to those who know. but its still hard to swallow.

im great at not thinking about him but i hate the Internet. its impossible to completely ignore anyone.. he is slowly becoming friends with mutual online friends so i can see when he talks to them.. my favorite is when he comments on a picture or some conversation and get on his ' at least im mature and i dont run away from good things to be young and social'.. what a hypocrite. all he ever comments is 'blue moon' and other stuff about these drinks and whatever but says im being immature..

i dont even make sense.

anyone is entitled to talk to anyone, thats not what bothers me. i just hope he doesnt have intentions on ever having me in his life again. i really think he is so twisted and doesnt even think of the real reasons i left him.

he more than likely thinks i left because i want to party and i want friends..

i left for my life, i left for my safety, for my own well being. i left because i want to be happy with myself and i want to live a healthy life, whether im in a relationship or not i want peace with myself and with my life.

i left because i was going insane.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..